Every time I get to shower, my 5 year old brings to the door of that courtroom, an issue that requires immediate judgement.
And today it was this,
“Umma, Yaani called me a loser.” Some other days it is,
“Yaani called me a noob.”
“Yaani called me a baby.”
“Yaani says I dont have friends”
Neither does my 9 year old find other times to call the 5 year old nasty names, nor does the little one think of apt any other time to bring grave issues over to me.
After I strained to hear what he was brining to my notice, through a voice muffled with painful tears, I declared,
“No way Zaaki, You are my winner”
The court seemed adjourned and he left with what seemed to him a fair judgement. And in no time, i heard the brothers laughing and getting on with their game. Till the next complaint I could now continue to focus on just the water trickling as I thought of my hair pulling fights with my sister.
And then I thought to myself, do we as human beings really ever grow up from the 5 year olds that we are. Even at 30, I cant take name calling and need to vent it out somewhere and take consolation and someone else will assure me it is otherwise.
Even as 20, 30 ,40, 50 year olds we are not too comfortable hearing a Yaani call us names or in some other instances hear the Yaani within us belittle our efforts. The truth still remains the same. We just cant take the agony of accusations and belittlement. And clearly there is no reason we must. The only thing we now need to crack is how to find a fair judgement like Zaaki does in me and more importantly, how do we move on.
Coz though we wont grow up, the one thing that grows within us is our ego. We soon start keeping names within us, allow it affect our calm, make ourselves feel little, lose confidence or if not anything, allow it play on our head.
The solution lies with Zaaki. Find that place to go to for judgement. For some of us it is a person, for some others it is a book, some, a place and some an introspection. It doesnt matter which courtroom best suits you. What matters is that we resolve what bothers us right there, right then. Not allow it pain us for longer than it deserves. And most, most importanly, get on.
Both our problem and solution goes back to being 5 year olds. And that clearly is what is best.
Ju, I miss you.
#31to31 Day 5